In a recent survey nearly half of the 20,000 people questioned said they were lonely – that they had fewer social contacts and meaningful relationships than they’d like. The problem is especially common in people who are already dealing with mental illness, but a program in Charlottesville offers a solution.
At 29, Andrew is rebuilding his life.
“I grew up playing sports which kind of helped me socialize," he recalls. "And then I got in a bad car accident. I got a traumatic brain injury, and I started withdrawing.”
Once an active teenager, he developed a new, solitary routine.
“I’d stay up all night, write poetry, eat spaghetti and drink wine and just listen to music. It was weird interacting with other people and after you have not done it for a while it gets even weirder if you do it. You can become detached pretty quickly,” he explains.
His social anxiety made it impossible to study or work.
“I would lose jobs over it and have panic attacks and have to go home, so yeah, it definitely caused some issues.”
And then he discovered music. He began playing, singing and composing.
“The music’s been big. It helps me tell my story and helps me cope and helps the brain heals. It’s amazing what music can do for you.”
He listens to everything, from Bob Marley to Bach, and he joined Blue Ridge House – a center in Charlottesville that serves more than 125 people in search of community.
“We open at 8, and we normally have at least 10-12 people waiting for us to open the doors," says Director Amanda Winecoff. "Our first morning meeting is at 9:15, and by then we’re pretty much full.”
Blue Ridge House offers programs for people once hospitalized for mental illness.
“There’s a stigma," says Winecoff. "They go out in public, they’re made fun of, they tend to isolate, and they don’t know how to interact with people. They have nothing to do during the day. They don’t have anyone to hang out with, and so it does really help with that, because as you know, community is what keeps us mostly healthy.”
At Blue Ridge House they can exercise, play games or volunteer to help with the center’s programs.
"Some of them are very dedicated to cleaning and cooking and helping us run the place. It gives them a sense of accomplishment," Winecoff says. "Then others are more interested in going bowling or to the movies, going to work in the garden, or we go to the Frontier Museum or stuff like that.
And perhaps most important of all, she and member Barbara Bane say they form strong relationships with each other.
“Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, friendships, they know each other, they check up on each other,” says Winecoff.
“It’s nice to have people who have something in common with you. I go hiking with one friend every Saturday, but he’ll sometimes call and cancel because he’s too depressed to go out, and I try to cheer him up,” Bane explains.
“It’s very sweet actually,” Winecoff adds.
It’s also inexpensive. While a stay at Western State Hospital costs just over $800 per day, membership at Blue Ridge House runs $60 a month for those who can afford to pay, and for those who can’t, it’s free – supported by grants and government programs.