BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. Hey, that guacamole's not ready yet. You need some Bill-antro (ph).
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KURTIS: Bill Kurtis. And here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
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SAGAL: Thank you, everybody. Happy to be with you. We have a very fine show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to actor Krysten Ritter from the Netflix show "Jessica Jones." That's the one in which she plays a superhero who thinks superheroes are stupid.
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SAGAL: Now, in one episode, a guy asks her on a date to see "Thor: The Dark World," and she throws him through a wall.
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SAGAL: If you'd like to play our games, call us up and win one of our voices on your voicemail. The number is 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. It's time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi. You are on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
JOE CHRISTIAN: Hey. What's happening? This is Joe Christian.
SAGAL: Where are you calling from, Joe?
CHRISTIAN: I'm calling from wonderful Washington, Ill. It's about two and a half hours south of you guys.
SAGAL: Oh, really? Oh, hey.
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CHRISTIAN: Yeah. Washington folks in the house.
SAGAL: We've got some downstate fans here - downstate. What do you do there in Washington, Ill.?
CHRISTIAN: I work at a GIS and mapping company. And on top of that, I play rock 'n' roll bass guitar for a band called Typecaster.
SAGAL: Typecaster?
CHRISTIAN: Yes, sir.
PETER GROSZ: You bury the lead, Joe.
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SAGAL: What kind of band is Typecaster?
CHRISTIAN: I'd say a little bit Foo Fighter-y (ph), rock 'n' roll. I sing. We're not screamy.
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CHRISTIAN: But we have (unintelligible) influences. It's fun. I was told that I sing pretty, so I need to sing pretty, which hurt my rock 'n' roll ego.
SAGAL: I understand. Joe, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, it's a writer and actor. You've seen him most recently on "The President Show," playing Vice President Mike Pence. It's Peter Grosz.
GROSZ: Hi, Joe.
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SAGAL: Next, it's a contributor to "CBS Sunday Morning" and the host of "Science Goes To The Movies" on PBS, which now has its own YouTube channel. So she's a YouTube star. Faith Salie.
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FAITH SALIE: Hello, Mr. Christian.
SAGAL: And making her debut on our panel, it's a culture writer for BuzzFeed and host of the podcast Thirst Aid Kit. It's Bim Adewunmi.
BIM ADEWUNMI: Hi, Joe.
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SAGAL: So, Joe, you're going to start us off with Who's Bill This Time. You know this. Bill is going to recreate for you three quotations from the week's news. Your job, of course - explain or identify two of them. Do that - you win the voice of anybody you like on this show on your very own voicemail.
CHRISTIAN: Ooh. I'm pumped.
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SAGAL: That was pretty.
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CHRISTIAN: That wasn't even intentional. Way flat.
SAGAL: All right. All right. Here we go. Here we go, Joe. Here is your first quote.
KURTIS: This place sucks.
SAGAL: That was Senator Joe Manchin of West Virginia talking about what place?
CHRISTIAN: Wasn't it Capitol Hill?
SAGAL: It was. It was the Capitol. It was the Senate.
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CHRISTIAN: Good for you.
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SAGAL: Last Friday, the government shut down, which was terrible. But on Monday, it started up again, which is worse.
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SAGAL: The shutdown happened in part because the Democrats in the Senate would not pass a budget without protecting the so-called DREAMers from deportation. So, of course, they passed a budget that did not protect the DREAMers. However, the Democrats did it in exchange for a promise from Mitch McConnell that this handful of beans were actually magic.
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SAGAL: So they let the government reopen with a promise of a deal on the DREAMers. And (laughter) later in the week, they got one. President Trump proposed letting the DREAMers stay in exchange for building his wall, cutting legal immigration in half and banning all Mexican restaurants other than Taco Bell.
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ADEWUNMI: Slow burn.
GROSZ: I like that Joe Manchin was like, this place sucks. And he said that in a conversation where he was like, I'm staying.
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SAGAL: Yeah.
GROSZ: I'm running for re-election.
SAGAL: Yeah.
ADEWUNMI: We all do that, though.
SAGAL: Yeah.
ADEWUNMI: I hate everything. Can I have another helping, please?
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SAGAL: That's true. It's like the old Jewish joke - this government is terrible. Can I have some more?
GROSZ: Yeah. And such small portions.
SAGAL: Exactly. I screwed it up.
ADEWUNMI: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Anyway, this is funny. This shutdown lasted, in fact, I think, Friday night through early Monday morning. So it was basically a weekend off. And it turned out it was exactly 69 hours.
ADEWUNMI: Nice.
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SAGAL: The Internet noticed.
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SAGAL: But when you think about it, it makes sense 'cause 69 really is the most bipartisan number.
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GROSZ: It is true.
ADEWUNMI: Wow.
GROSZ: It's a good way to work together from opposite sides.
SAGAL: Yeah. Yeah.
ADEWUNMI: Oh, my gosh.
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SAGAL: Joe, here is your next quote. It is from the CEO of JPMorgan Chase, Mr. Jamie Dimon.
KURTIS: It's where billionaires tell millionaires how the middle class feels.
SAGAL: That is Mr. Dimon's description of the very fun party that the president attended this week. What is it?
CHRISTIAN: Is it Davos, Switzerland?
SAGAL: It is Davos. Very good.
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SAGAL: It's officially known, of course...
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SAGAL: It's officially known as the World Economic Forum or the International League of Supervillains.
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SAGAL: It's the annual gathering of world leaders and billionaires in which they decide the world's economic agenda and also on whose private island they're going to go to this year to hunt the most dangerous game, man.
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SALIE: Can we just point out that his wife, Melania Trump...
SAGAL: Yes.
SALIE: ...Had the opportunity to fly on Air Force One...
SAGAL: Yes.
SALIE: ...And go to Davos, which is a beautiful alpine community in Switzerland with world-famous people and chose...
GROSZ: I like that you call it a community.
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SALIE: ...And chose instead to go alone to a Holocaust museum.
SAGAL: In fact, she did. And not only that, but this weekend, during the trip to Davos, was the Trumps' 13th wedding anniversary.
SALIE: Yeah.
SAGAL: And everybody knows that the 13th anniversary is the bitter regret anniversary.
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GROSZ: Wait. Which Holocaust museum did she go to?
SAGAL: I believe she went to the one in Washington? Am I wrong?
SALIE: I think so.
SAGAL: I think so.
SALIE: And then went alone to Florida.
SAGAL: Yes, well...
GROSZ: Oh, my God. She's turning into, like, an old Jewish woman.
SAGAL: She is.
SALIE: It's true.
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GROSZ: She went to the Holocaust museum and then went to Florida?
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SAGAL: Just imagine...
GROSZ: He's going to come back, and she's going to be like, enough with the talking about the trip. I don't care.
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SALIE: Our relationship - it's verkakte.
GROSZ: Don't put your shoes on the carpet. We just cleaned it.
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SAGAL: Now, it's interesting because, as I said, why is he going to Davos? He doesn't supposedly like the global elites. And he wasn't, it turns out, even invited.
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SAGAL: This is true. He was not officially invited. He just said, I'm the president. I'm coming. Why would he want to leave town this week? Well, it just so happens that on Thursday, while he was away, The New York Times broke the pretty big story that in June, President Trump actually tried to fire the special counsel Robert Muller. He didn't do it himself. He told his own lawyer to do it. Apparently, Donald Trump couldn't remember what you're supposed to say to somebody...
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SAGAL: ...When you're ending their employment. What is that phrase? He couldn't remember it.
GROSZ: You're unhired.
SAGAL: Yes.
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SAGAL: Joe, for your last quote, please listen to this list that was put out by Delta Airlines.
KURTIS: Comfort turkeys, sugar gliders, snakes, spiders and more.
SAGAL: That was part of their press release announcing a new policy from Delta in which they are banning what from their airplanes?
CHRISTIAN: Weird pets?
SAGAL: Not weird pets so much as animals that are classified as what?
CHRISTIAN: Oh, service animals.
SAGAL: Exactly. They are doing something about all the fake service animals.
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CHRISTIAN: Yes.
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SAGAL: Finally. People have been complaining about this for a while. And yes, they say that people have, in fact, brought on board their planes all the animals that Bill just listed. Seriously, guys - comfort turkeys?
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SAGAL: Do the comfort turkeys have a comfort parrot for them, saying, no, no, no, they're not going to eat you, no?
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SAGAL: Comfort spiders - of course, that makes sense because if you get agitated, they have all those legs to stroke you to calm you down.
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SALIE: Have you ever - I fly a lot. And I've just seen dogs and cats. Have you guys ever seen any of these?
ADEWUNMI: Yes. I mean, I myself travel with a comfort boa constrictor.
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SALIE: Sure.
GROSZ: For about the last almost nine years, I've been traveling with an un-comfort child...
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GROSZ: ...Which has made traveling very difficult.
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SAGAL: So this is, of course, the problem. There are people of all kinds who really need their companion animals - people with various disabilities. Of course. We know this. But the problem is is there is no official authority saying what's real and what isn't. You can just order a certificate off the Internet. So you can claim anything as a necessarily emotional aid to get it onto the plane for free. Like, oh, here. This is my comfort family of four.
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SAGAL: Oh, wait a minute. No, this is my comfort full-sized bottle of shampoo.
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GROSZ: I was going to say this is my comfort scotch.
SAGAL: Exactly.
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GROSZ: So then what's the - do they have a definitive list that's just, like, just dogs?
SAGAL: Well, they're saying that in order to bring...
SALIE: You just made a bunch of enemies...
SAGAL: You did.
SALIE: ...When you said just dogs.
GROSZ: Oh, what? Cat people are mad at me?
SALIE: Yes. Cat people get mad any chance they can.
SAGAL: Yes.
GROSZ: You think a cat person is just sitting at home right now, listening to the radio...
SALIE: Listening to the radio.
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GROSZ: ...By themselves? Am I going to get, like, a knit letter from somebody? Whatever. I'll put my address on the air if you're going to send me a knit letter.
SAGAL: Bill, how did Joe do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Joe's singing a happy tune because he got all three.
SAGAL: Well done, Joe. Congratulations.
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CHRISTIAN: Thank you so much. (Unintelligible).
SAGAL: Good luck with the band.
CHRISTIAN: Thank you guys so much.
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SAGAL: We want to remind everyone they can join us most weeks right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago. For tickets or more information, go to wbez.org. Or you can find a link at our website, waitwait.npr.org. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.