BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm the man with a name that can be used for any number of comic puns. I'm adapta-Bill (ph) - Bill Kurtis. And here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
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SAGAL: Thanks, everybody. Thank you, guys. Now, this is the time - as we start the New Year and we look back on the last one and we realize that 2017 was an endless parade of joy, happiness and good times.
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SAGAL: That is, if you only look at this show.
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KURTIS: Just ignore the other 167 hours of the week, and it turns out, things were pretty great.
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SAGAL: Now, Bill Kurtis right here is, of course, our judge and scorekeeper. But as you know, he is so much more. Here are some of the other ways we've introduced him this year.
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KURTIS: This is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm the anchor real men tattoo onto their chest - Bill Kurtis.
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KURTIS: Hey, Kim Jong Un. Why don't you try and launch me? I'm a Bill-istic (ph) missile.
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KURTIS: I'm the Bill people hope is waiting in the mailbox.
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KURTIS: Bill Kurtis - and here's your host...
I'll take care of that odor. I'm your Bill Kurtis-y (ph) flush.
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KURTIS: Before the apocalypse starts, let me be your last Bill and testament.
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KURTIS: Hey, Maria von Trapp, climb my mountain and the Bills are alive with the sound of music.
(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.