BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with P.J. O'Rourke, Tom Bodett and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
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SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill recovers from his Cinco de Rhymeo (ph) party just in time for the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Tom, driverless cars are coming. They might pose though an unexpected threat. One Canadian expert says that once computers are taking the wheel of our cars, we will see a lot more what?
TOM BODETT: Drive-through Apple stores?
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
BODETT: We'll see a lot more...
SAGAL: Well, you won't be able to see it 'cause the windows in the car will be steamed up.
BODETT: Oh, yeah, sex in cars.
SAGAL: Exactly, a lot more sex in cars.
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SAGAL: And you thought being at a stoplight next to a guy with his finger up his nose was gross.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So this Canadian expert says that once everybody's driving around in autonomous...
BODETT: Why is there a Canadian expert on sex in cars?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, because when I think about sex in cars, I think about Canada - oh yeah. No, this Canadian expert on such things says that autonomous vehicles once they're ubiquitous, people won't be ready to take the wheel in the case of an emergency because they'll be having sex. And weirdly, she said this like it was a bad thing.
(LAUGHTER)
HELEN HONG: I feel like some people might actually drive better while having sex than they do while texting...
SAGAL: Yeah, that's true.
HONG: ...You know? I mean...
(LAUGHTER)
O'ROURKE: If they've been married long enough, you're paying less attention...
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I don't know - people - I don't know if this is really going to happen 'cause people are shy, and I don't know if they're going to want to do it in front of an artificial intelligence. No, your GPS will be saying in 100 feet turn left. Oh, I'm sorry, you've already reached your destination.
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SAGAL: P.J., Google is building an artificial intelligent agent. It's going to be able to speak to people online, and it's learning from human behavior and language. To help it become more conversational, the engineers at Google are feeding it thousands of what?
O'ROURKE: Jokes.
SAGAL: No. Oh, God forbid.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Hello Google (imitating robot) pull my finger. Oh jeez.
(LAUGHTER)
O'ROURKE: Yeah, it'd be like raising kids...
SAGAL: Yeah, it'd be the worst No, I'll give you a hint, P.J.
O'ROURKE: Yeah, you better have...
SAGAL: It kind of puts the bot in bodice-ripper.
O'ROURKE: Oh, they are making it read romance novels.
SAGAL: They are feeding it thousands of romance novels.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
HONG: What?
SAGAL: So Google is uploading all these romance novels they can into their AI engine to help it learn conversational language - you know, kinds of things normal people say every day...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Like her creamy bosom heaved with desire.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And she was amazed to discover the programmers' throbbing manhood was - no wait, that was one they wrote especially for themselves.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The idea is to teach the AI conversational language. And apparently romance novels are useful because the plot is all the same, so it's different language about the same things.
So now when you type something into your Google search window like where is, Google auto-complete with my lover. I must taste the sweet nectar of her lips.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I just wanted some pizza, but thanks Google.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Helen, in recent years, KFC has created so many innovations in fast food - the famous bowl, Double Down sandwich, the mashed potato scarf. Well, this week, they stepped it up once again food innovation wise with chicken-flavored what?
HONG: I actually know this. It's nail polish.
SAGAL: Yes, Helen, it is...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...Nail polish.
HONG: How frightening is that? I read the whole story about it. It, like, comes in three different flavors.
SAGAL: Yes.
O'ROURKE: All you have to do is eat their chicken and you pretty much have that.
BODETT: There it is. I mean, you can't - I mean, if you leave a bag of that stuff in your car, you have to sell the car. I mean, you will never get it out.
SAGAL: Yeah.
O'ROURKE: And you have to sell the car - you have to sell it...
BODETT: I'd rather have a live chicken living in my car.
(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.