BILL KURTIS: From NPR WBEZ Chicago this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Adam Felber, Faith Salie and Paula Poundstone. And here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
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SAGAL: Right now...
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SAGAL: ...It's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff The Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
HANNAH MARYANSKI: Hi, this is Hannah Maryanski from Mobile, Ala.
SAGAL: Hey Hannah. How are you?
MARYANSKI: I'm great. How about yourself?
SAGAL: I'm not too bad. Now, what do you do in downtown Mobile?
MARYANSKI: I'm doing a year of service down here.
SAGAL: Oh really? What sort of things are you servicing?
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MARYANSKI: I help people who are low income get access to civil legal help.
SAGAL: Oh, that's...
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...Really excellent work.
MARYANSKI: Yes.
SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Hannah. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Hannah's topic?
KURTIS: Animals - they're like friends you can eat.
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SAGAL: We all like to make our pets as happy as possible. We give them treats, toys and back rubs that make other humans uncomfortable. This week, we heard about a new way people are being good to their pets. And our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one, you'll win our prize - Carl Kasell purring in your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
MARYANSKI: Yes sir.
SAGAL: All right, first, let's hear from Faith Salie.
FAITH SALIE: Your dog is your best friend. He thinks you're awesome and neither of you minds when the other one farts.
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SALIE: He's your constant companion, except when you leave the house. How could you do that to him? Even if you leave the TV on so he can why Steve Harvey, he misses you.
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SALIE: If only you could leave something of yourself behind. Introducing a leg surrogate called HumpIt.
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SALIE: HumpIt is created by a 3-D printer so that your dog can grind on an exact replica of your seductive limb.
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SALIE: Says HumpIt co-founder Richard Delgado, "dogs give us so much. The least we could do is give them a familiar static place to express their sexuality."
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SALIE: HumpIt currently has three locations - Tokyo, Berlin and their original West Hollywood store.
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SALIE: Dog owner enter a small room where cameras speed-scan every inch of them from the waist down. HumpIt's proprietary technology then clones your leg down to your musculature, your leg hair, your tattoos, even your salinity in case your dog enjoys your shins as a sweaty salt lick. Delgado says demand is outstripping production for HumpIt, whose slogan is HumpIt - where dogs get on and then get off.
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SALIE: He chuckles, "I guess you could say our business is mounting."
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SAGAL: I guess you could. HumpIt - the replica leg just like yours for your dog's pleasure. Your next story of someone going above and beyond for a pet comes from Paula Poundstone. >>POUNDSTONE: (Imitating coughing up a hairball)...
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POUNDSTONE: Finally, it's here - (imitating cat) - the product that can bring reliable hygiene to cats...
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POUNDSTONE: ...(Imitating cat) while bringing them closer to the caring cat owners.
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POUNDSTONE: Licky Brush, a rubber tongue available in a variety of bright colors. The tongue brush handle is gripped in the teeth of the pet owner willing to go the extra 4 and a half inches.
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POUNDSTONE: They then press the rubber tongue on the cat's (imitating cat)...
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POUNDSTONE: ...Fur. Draw their head back repeatedly and lick the cat as its mother always did. Cats love it. Owners love it. The makers of hairball relief products are the only possible unhappy parties in this win-win product success. Once these fly off the shelves, we'll likely see the manufacturer branch out to rubber bird beaks for zookeepers grooming their rhinos and rubber tree-bark costumes for elephant handlers to allow their elephants to rub up against them.
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SAGAL: Licki Tongue - (imitating cat)...
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SAGAL: ...The brush that you hold in your mouth so you can link your cat with it. Your last story of an animal lover spoiling their pet comes from Adam Felber.
ADAM FELBER: What could possibly be more annoying than a smug hipster with a ferret? How about a gathering of smug hipsters with ferrets? And now thanks to a new smartphone app, that threatening possibility has become a reality.
The app is called FerrIt - F-E-R-R-I-T - and it bills itself as the ultimate ferret friend finder. Just fire it up and a map will show you the location of other owners and their trendy pets, then drop a pin at a proposed meet-up site, like a hip coffee shop or a park or a hip coffee shop. Quote...
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FELBER: ..."Ferrets are fun, gregarious creatures and so are their owner's," gushes FerrIt co-founder Julius Sharp, in a tone of voice that makes it clear that he is wearing a clever little hat.
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FELBER: Quote, "and FerrIt allows them to instantly find friends to play with. Anyway...
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FELBER: Thanks to the app, if you're in an urban area, be on the lookout for impromptu gatherings of these weird vacuous, silly animals and their ferrets.
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SAGAL: All right, so if you're a pet owner...
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SAGAL: ...One of these three things is now or soon will be available. Was it from Faith, HumpIt the replica leg for your dog when you're away, from Paula Poundstone, Lick Tongue, the tongue-shaped brush you hold on your teeth so you can lick your cat, or from Adam, FerrIt, the app that allows annoying ferret owners to meet other annoying ferret owners so they cannot annoy other people, I guess? Which of these is the real product or service available?
MARYANSKI: Well, I've known a few hipsters in my day. And unfortunately, Adam's story sounds pretty plausible. So I think I'll go with that.
SAGAL: You're going to go with FerrIt, the app that allows annoying ferret owners to find other annoying ferret owners?
MARYANSKI: Yes, sir.
SAGAL: All right, that's your choice. Well, to bring you the real story, we spoke to someone involved with it.
O'MARA: Licki Brush is a brush that hold in your mouth, and it has (unintelligible) teeth on it so that you can lick your cat without actually having to use your tongue.
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SAGAL: That was Tara O'Mara. She is the president of PDX Pet Design and the co-creator of the Licki Brush.
MARYANSKI: Oh dear.
SAGAL: And I will tell you, you found that too ridiculous to believe.
MARYANSKI: Yes.
SAGAL: I have seen it in action, and it is too ridiculous to believe. So...
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SAGAL: Nobody does blame you for this one, Hannah. Sadly though, you did obviously not pick the correct answer. You did earn a point for Adam, though.
FELBER: Thank you, Hannah.
MARYANSKI: Of course.
SAGAL: And you earned our thanks for doing God's work down there in Mobile.
MARYANSKI: Thank you.
SAGAL: Thank you for playing.
MARYANSKI: Have a good one.
SAGAL: Bye-bye.
POUNDSTONE: Thanks Hannah.
SALIE: Bye.
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