PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Faith, according to an article in The Wall Street Journal this week, many marriages and relationships are being tested by men's insistence on doing what?
FAITH SALIE: This doesn't have to do with sex, right? That's too obvious.
HELEN HONG: It's got nothing to do with flossing.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It's got nothing to do with flossing.
SALIE: Right. Does it involve food?
SAGAL: No. I'll give you a hint. It does involve technology because you want a lot of pockets to carry around your phones and your...
(LAUGHTER)
SALIE: Wait, so something that men do that involves pockets.
SAGAL: Lots of them.
SALIE: Lots of them?
SAGAL: Yeah.
SALIE: Lots of pockets - cargo pants?
SAGAL: Cargo pants, yes.
HONG: Yes.
SAGAL: Specifically, cargo shorts.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: According to The Wall Street Journal, cargo shorts are putting undue strain in relationships around the world. Men are reporting that their wives are actually stealing their cargo shorts from their closets and throwing them out.
(APPLAUSE)
SALIE: Really?
SAGAL: I hear only feminine clap...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Applause. Women, this is a terrible idea. If you want to make sure that your husband never attracts the attention of another woman, let him keep the shorts.
SALIE: Seriously. Do you wear cargo shorts?
SAGAL: I do not.
SALIE: Right. My husband doesn't either. Do you, Bobcat?
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: No.
(LAUGHTER)
GOLDTHWAIT: Why would I do that?
SALIE: I don't find...
SAGAL: Bobcat is trying to figure out how he can get out of this theater without, like, standing up.
(LAUGHTER)
SALIE: Cargo shorts are just...
GOLDTHWAIT: He never left. I think he's a mermaid because we couldn't see him from the bottom.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No cargo shorts are like the minivans of clothing for men. They show that you're into utility, capacity and are no longer interested in sex.
HONG: Pair them with sandals...
SAGAL: Exactly.
HONG: ...And you'll never need birth control, guys.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And socks. I love this one fashion guru quoted by The Wall Street Journal, who says that cargo shorts are not cool because, quote, "James Bond would never wear them," unquote.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really? Has he never seen "Beige Finger?"
GOLDTHWAIT: What are these pants, Q? They keep women away.
(LAUGHTER)
GOLDTHWAIT: How do they work? Just put them on.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Faith, a farmer from Quebec says he suspects a team of hipsters stole his what?
SALIE: Oh, my gosh. I mean, his overalls and his unicycle and his mustache and his beekeeping paraphernalia.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I didn't realize, Faith, it's been a while since we've talked. I didn't realize you had moved to Williamsburg.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's great.
SALIE: And it's none of those things?
SAGAL: None of those things.
SALIE: OK, hipster stole his...
SAGAL: You're sort of on the right track. I'll give you a hint - it doesn't matter whether the horse has left or not, he can't close it.
SALIE: Barn?
SAGAL: He - they stole half...
SALIE: His stable.
SAGAL: ...Half his barn.
SALIE: Oh, my gosh.
SAGAL: Yeah. So Claude Villeneuve is the name of the farmer up there in Quebec, and he believes a band of farm-fetish hipsters stole the walls and doors of his barn.
HONG: What?
SAGAL: Designers call antique wood trendy and perfect for achieving that rustic look, while Claude calls it, quote, "my wood."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And the walls of my barn.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "HELLO WALLS")
FARON YOUNG: (Singing) Hello walls. Hello. Hello. How'd things go for you today? Don't you miss her...
SAGAL: Coming up, we give our panelists a second chance, and they still lie to us. It's Bluff The Listener. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.