BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. Getting rid of some old clothes? Take them to good Bill.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: I'm Bill Kurtis. And here is your host at Tanglewood in Lenox, Mass., Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Thanks, everybody. We are enjoying the beginning of summer at this beautiful open-air venue. So what could be more appropriate than talking about snow skiing, which we'll do later with two-time Olympic gold medalist David Wise. Think of it as a cheap version of air conditioning. But first, some interesting news - I don't know if you heard this - Seth MacFarlane, creator of the TV show "Family Guy" and other things, gave $2 1/2 million this week to public radio.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: This is huge. It's big news. In completely unrelated news, Fresh Air will now be hosted by the profane talking teddy bear from his movie "Ted."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You're still you, though, so give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
STARR JOHNSON: Hi, Peter. This is Starr.
SAGAL: Hello, Starr.
JOHNSON: How are you?
SAGAL: I'm well.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Is your name actually Starr?
JOHNSON: My name is Starr - S-T-A-R-R. It's an old family name.
SAGAL: It's an old family name and did you - with the name Starr growing up, did you feel obligated to, say, become one?
JOHNSON: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Starr. Let me introduce you to our panel. First up, it's a comedian you can find all over social media at @AlonzoBodden. Guess who it is. That's right, Alonzo Bodden.
ALONZO BODDEN: Hello, Starr.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Next, a contributor to "CBS Sunday Morning" and host of "Science Goes To The Movies" on PBS - it now has its own YouTube channel - it's Faith Salie.
FAITH SALIE: Hi, Starr.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: And a correspondent for "CBS Sunday Morning" and host of "The Henry Ford's Innovation Nation," it's Mo Rocca.
(CHEERING)
MO ROCCA: Hello, Starr.
JOHNSON: Hello, Mo.
SAGAL: Starr, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time. Bill Kurtis is going to read for you three quotations from the week's news. Your job, of course - correctly identify or explain two of them. Do that, you'll win our prize - the voice if anyone you choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
JOHNSON: I hope so. Six million listening - I'm a little nervous.
SAGAL: Don't be.
ROCCA: You're a star.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Here we go. Now, your first quote is somebody speaking on Friday of last week.
KURTIS: "You can't do it by executive order."
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: And here is the same person speaking on Wednesday of this week.
KURTIS: "I consider it to be a very important executive order."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So who decided - who decided to do something he decided he couldn't do until he decided to do it?
JOHNSON: Oh, Trump.
SAGAL: Yes, President Trump, of course. OK, to be fair, in the midst of this entire family separation crisis, Donald Trump never thought it would be such a big deal. I mean, he has separated his own family three times.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: After a week of saying there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop the policy, he stopped it. It seemed impossible to keep Donald Trump from doing this terrible thing. But finally, a hero came along with the guts to face him down - Donald Trump.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: You know, the thing with Trump saying he couldn't sign the executive order and then three days later signing the executive order - I mean, there's so much about his presidency that shows he doesn't know what the president does. Do you think there's someone there and that's, like, their only job? Like, go tell him he can do this.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: Just - like, you have to literally - like, it's explaining it to a child. Like, yes, you can.
SAGAL: Yeah.
BODDEN: No, you can't.
SAGAL: Yeah.
BODDEN: And just keep it that simple.
SALIE: Or maybe they're smarter than we think. Maybe they're, like, gas...
BODDEN: No, no.
SALIE: Gaslighting us with double negatives. Like, we are not not separating families.
SAGAL: Yeah.
BODDEN: I love you, Faith, but this White House - like, you could never say they're smarter than we think.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SALIE: Fair enough.
BODDEN: They passed benefit of the doubt a long time ago.
SAGAL: But perhaps only this White House could sort of end this remarkable week with the most extraordinary grace note, which is that Melania Trump - we were told, of course, that she was so concerned that she pressured her husband to change the policy. She flew down to the border to visit a shelter, right? And she wore a $39 jacket with the message on the back in huge letters I really don't care. Do you? I am, of course, not making that up.
SALIE: No.
SAGAL: But that's fine. It's what all good Samaritans say. We remember Eleanor Roosevelt visiting refugee camps with her cardigan saying just die already.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: Look; in Slovenian, it means keep families together.
SAGAL: Exactly.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: I'm going to spin for her.
BODDEN: I think the same - it's the same guy's job. So while he's explaining to Trump you can't do this, he's like who let her wear the coat? Who let her wear the coat? I can't keep an eye on everything.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Dammit.
BODDEN: The shame is - now, does Zara sell more of the coats or did they just pull them off the shelves? How did they...
ROCCA: I'm sorry. Zara has been deported already.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: She just - her name just sounded too suspicious.
SAGAL: It's true. Hey, Starr, are you ready for your next quote?
JOHNSON: I think so.
SAGAL: You'll be very excited, I think, because your next quote is also from the president of the United States.
KURTIS: "I was not really serious, and then I said, what a great idea."
SAGAL: That was the president talking about his great idea - a military branch devoted to fighting our enemies where?
JOHNSON: Oh, in space.
SAGAL: Yes. Or, as I would like to put it, in space.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: President Trump has always apparently been enamored of the idea of a space force, partially because of a top-secret intelligence briefing he got about aliens coming to disintegrate us. That turned out, actually, to be a Bugs Bunny cartoon, which he watched on his phone...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...'Cause the briefing was too boring. But inspiration can come from anywhere. Space Force - that's what he wants to call it, the Space Force. That's also what your grandmother calls "Star Wars" when she gives you a nickel to go to the movies.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: But it's meant to be a branch, a fifth branch of the...
SALIE: Sixth.
ROCCA: Sixth, right, because of the Coast Guard. Everybody forgets the Coast Guard.
SALIE: I don't.
ROCCA: Sorry, Coast Guard.
SALIE: I don't.
ROCCA: That it's meant to be a branch of the military, right?
SAGAL: Yes. And...
ROCCA: Which he described as...
SAGAL: Please, you say it.
ROCCA: Separate but equal because...
SAGAL: That's what he said.
ROCCA: Because that phrase isn't fraught at all.
SAGAL: No.
SALIE: It's like a fourth grade boy. It's like, oh, I'm going to make something. We're going to call it Space Force, and Mexico will pay for it.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: I think that's exactly what it was because I've been to Huntsville, Ala., and its NASA. It is home of literally rocket scientists, and I think they were like, how can we make what we do simple enough for him to understand?
SAGAL: Yeah.
BODDEN: And they just - just tell him we're making Space Force. And he liked it.
SAGAL: Space Force.
ROCCA: That's better than "Space Jam."
SAGAL: Maybe he loves space so much because in zero gravity he really does weigh 237 pounds.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: Yeah, I guess if you're - if you're floating in outer space, those bone spurs won't hurt.
SAGAL: Exactly.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And, of course, he's very excited about building Mars a Lago (ph). All right.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Starr, here's your last quote.
KURTIS: "Don't Cry For Me Argentina."
SAGAL: That song was playing in Brazilian television over a montage of sad Argentinian fans when their team lost where this week?
JOHNSON: Oh, the World Cup.
SAGAL: Yes, the World Cup. It's World Cup fever. Yay.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: You may not have noticed because not only do Americans not care about soccer, they don't even have an American team in the tournament to not care about because the U.S. did not qualify for the World Cup. The U.S. team was eliminated by Trinidad and Tobago, which, by the way...
ROCCA: Really?
SAGAL: Yes, which, by the way, is the least humiliating thing to happen to the United States this year.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: Oh, my God. I mean, Trinidad is one thing but Tobago?
SAGAL: I know. It's strange Americans don't really care that much about soccer because our kids all play it. And then you...
BODDEN: Until 12.
SAGAL: Yeah, and then they're done.
BODDEN: Then it's over.
SAGAL: And nobody cares anymore. And you're like, well, what's the - what's missing? And you realize what professional international soccer is missing - soccer moms.
ROCCA: Exactly, yes.
SAGAL: It's not soccer that we Americans can enjoy if the field is not surrounded by 15 minivans and women in yoga pants holding orange slices.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: And how great would the World Cup be if that was how the teams showed up?
SAGAL: Oh, it would be awesome. And then, like...
ROCCA: Ronaldo's mom.
BODDEN: If each player just got out of a minivan.
SAGAL: Yeah. Can you imagine - can you imagine how even sadder Lionel Messi would have been if, like, his mom had promised to drive the Croatian team home, too, in the van?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The amazing thing...
ROCCA: Did we really lose to Trinidad and Tobago?
SAGAL: Yes, we really did in a qualifying round.
ROCCA: Oh, my God. We're going to invade them now. We're going to bomb them.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Starr do on our quiz?
KURTIS: She got three right and more laughs than did.
SAGAL: Congratulations, Starr.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Thanks for playing.
JOHNSON: Thank you.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "DON'T CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA")
ME FIRST AND THE GIMME GIMMES: (Singing) Don't cry for me, Argentina. The truth is I never left you. All through my wild days, my mad existence, I kept my promise. Don't keep your distance. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.